Find the Endless Love - Part 3 - Parental Love

What about a parent’s love for their children, could this be the unconditional love that many of us are seeking? Certainly, many parents would argue in favour of this proposition, claiming that they love their children unconditionally. Those with several children may go on to support this claim by pointing out that they love all their children equally, perhaps even insisting that their love has remained rock steady over the years, completely unaffected by events and circumstances. Let’s examine this position by considering the situation in good family homes, ignoring the many settings that sadly fall far short of this high standard.

Although good parents clearly recognise the amount of effort involved in bringing up children, very few would seriously dispute the view that their children are a great blessing to them. After all, this is the main reason why most people wish to have children in the first place, believing that their presence will help to make their own life more complete. They imagine the fun that they will have together, the activities they will pursue, the successes they will share, and so on. There then follows a huge sacrifice of time, energy, expense and upset, as they do everything in their power to promote their children’s happiness. Even when problems arise in the relationship, as they inevitably do, the caring usually continues undiminished because of the powerful ties built up over so many years.

Most parents freely acknowledge, however, that their children also contribute immensely to their own happiness. They would point mainly to the love that is returned to them, their many special memories and the countless hours spent simply enjoying each other’s company. As it is shared enjoyment that builds the strongest bonds with children, the parent who excels in this particular area will always be very much loved. This is one of the main benefits for good parents, the giant boost that is regularly delivered to their own self-esteem. By taking the opportunity to be kind and loving, they earn the obvious and genuine affection of their children, the most satisfying result possible for any parent. Without their children, many would feel a great emptiness in the very core of their existence.

They are also presented with the opportunity to create, shape and develop a new life, giving them a greater sense of purpose and direction in their own life. We all enjoy creating something impressive, so how much more gratifying it must be to look at that successful son or daughter and know that your role was essential to their very existence and quality of life. For most parents, their children will always be their greatest accomplishment, the one that they will be most proud of. Even though being a good parent is clearly a very demanding role, these benefits far outweigh the many sacrifices, as most parents will usually confirm.

Parents who have too much pride, however, may encounter regular conflict with their children. Their intolerant attitude and firm expectations will tend to produce too many angry reactions, creating situations that clearly benefit no one. If someone takes great personal pride in their children’s successes, it stands to reason that they will feel personally let down by their failures. It is largely because their children’s poor behaviour reflects back on them, attacking their self-esteem, that they easily succumb to the kind of angry reaction which is later regretted. The display of anger can be damaging to any relationship, arousing fear instead of affection, and clearly demonstrating the conditional nature of the parent’s love.

The parents who come closest to that unconditional love are the ones who remain fully committed to their children’s welfare at all times, regardless of their behaviour. This shouldn’t be taken to mean that they give them everything they want, or that they never chastise them for their conduct or attitude. Good parents understand the importance of setting, and enforcing, sensible boundaries, a task that is absolutely essential to their children’s development. Parents who are unable to establish such limits, mainly because they are too weak to deal with the consequences of a fall out, actually let their children down very badly. In fact, the existence of reasonable boundaries helps to guide children’s behaviour, making them feel more secure, and preventing them from becoming too spoiled.

Recognising that there will undoubtedly be times when their children behave badly, good parents will be very careful to avoid over-reacting. By remaining calm and in control, they are much more likely to take appropriate action, while providing the kind of explanations that will encourage their children to think about their own behaviour. Those people who feel good about themselves, enjoying a solid sense of fulfilment in their life, are the most able to approach this ideal level of conduct. Although they love their children dearly, they do not depend on them for their sense of wellbeing. It is this independence which allows them to take caring disciplinary measures, while avoiding the kind of anger and upset which can damage any relationship

Any parent who could match up to this description would indeed be impressive, since it comes extremely close to being an unattainable ideal. The fact is, even the best parents have bad days, and this affects how they react to their children. They do make mistakes, they do sometimes get angry, but, providing this isn’t the norm, no lasting harm is usually done. The ideal parent, the one who never strays from that love for a single moment, simply doesn't exist. But, even if they did exist, they would surely love their own children above all others. The fact that parental love arises for a variety of observable reasons, and is directed exclusively to their own children, seems to demonstrate that it is not the unconditional love that we are seeking to identify.

Article Source: http://www.spiritarticles.com

Any comments? I can be contacted at this email address: billynicol@aol.com How did I find that incredible true love? Well, you can have a look at these 2 websites: www.contact-info.net and www.tprf.org People from the UK can visit this website: www.wordsofpeace.net Good luck!

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